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Mayfield Mods ([personal profile] mayfield_mods) wrote in [community profile] welcome_rpg2012-07-05 12:36 am
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welcome to mayfield: day 4

[This carnival seems to be getting less and less maintained by the day. Your nerves aren't the only thing fallen apart: what were previously holes in the sky have expanded to cracks. What parts of the sky that haven't fallen into that strange, warping nothingness are full of brown smog-like clouds.

The carnival itself has become filthy, with trash and grease spots littered everywhere. The walls of the tents, wooden stands, and houses seem to be slightly melted, for lack of a better term. The holes of corrupted nothingness aren't confined to the sky anymore: pockets of nothing litter the carnival, shifting tears in the fabric of reality that hurt your eyes to look at.

A faint buzzing noise fills the air, making it difficult to concentrate. If you listen long enough, it starts to sound like voices. For your own sake, it's probably best not to listen to what they have to say.

You're also not alone here anymore, for those of you operating under the assumption that you ever really were. If you've been missing the friendly drones of Mayfield, fear no more, because scattered throughout the carnival are a few drone families seeing the sights, riding the rides and playing the games. Curiously, unlike the drones back home, these ones don't seem to notice you at all, acting as if you're not even there.

Also curiously: their features are warped nearly beyond recognition. Some are missing limbs or facial features; others appear to have had those features scrambled by Picasso's paintbrush, with mouths on their scalps or teeth on their fingers. Still other drones appear to be fused together at the wrist, or waist, or face. None of them seem to be any more aware of their deformity than they are of you.

...and yet, somehow, you can't shake the feeling that when you're not looking at them, they're looking at you.

New here? That's alright; your missing friends have had plenty of time to get acquainted, and they'll be happy to show you around. Just watch your step, because some of these old rides need some maintenance...]

OOC: If your character damages or affects the carnival or town in a noticeable and normally permanent way, please comment here.
expiatrice: († tock tock you silly goose)

[personal profile] expiatrice 2012-07-14 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
[She also knows that feeling of helplessness, comparable to a slow drown in heavy waters. Her life mission was simply to follow the orders of the Church, a lost purpose here where no hunt mattered. So she tried to live on by helping others in any ways that she could, but after over a year and a half of watching some of the closest people she's known get hurt and become droned - and often enough, return without memories, she's been in the low ends of that slump. Ineffectiveness. Worthlessness. Uselessness. Pointlessness. Knowing that nothing here will likely matter once she returns home didn't help matters, when she's personally experienced 'going home' once and clearly recalls herself never having thought back a single time to a place called 'Mayfield' in America. Those new experiences from home weren't false either, she confirmed the memories with Merem, which leads to the conclusion that nothing here matters.

But you must move on. Whatever she does here will still impact others who are also present for as long as their stay will permit. No matter how many she knew and held close were to be lost, she can't let it get to her again, because there will always be others to take their place - even if they won't be quite as dear. As long as she's still here, her actions will affect the people around her trapped in the same way. Charles harbored severe issues dealing with loss, too. He takes it extremely hard and can only express it through violent ways. The whole reason why she came the closest to kill anyone in this town without the influence of a city-wide irregularity was to calm him down and drag him back in line. For Abel, though...

He couldn't pull the trigger. She needed no other flaring neon sign to indicate just how capital it may be for her to stay well and alive near him. She already had to reach to pull him back from self-destruction. It doesn't matter if someone else can do it too if she's to 'step out', he shouldn't be permitted to lose himself again in the first place anyhow. They may not care about lethal injuries individually, but she well realizes how this changes when they're not on their own. That's why she has to be alert, for both their sakes. ...Hah. How ironic, that the one who acts alone is capable of being just as collected and functional in company of others. She's no leader either, far preferring to follow. But when she must step up... she supposes that she will.

The palm on his heart is withdrawn, and the fingers that held his face are slipping off his jawline. There's a very faint sound of scrunching as a piece of paper is unfolded. Still watching him patiently with care and concern, she holds the slip out for him to get a clear read:

Be there for him when he wakes up.

Short, simple, and to the point. She opted to not specify because there's no way he can not know whom this is referring to. That's his task. Go back to Mayfield and wait, so that he'll be at Cain's side when the boy stirs from revival. He's berating himself now? She'd berate him further personally once she recovers speech if he's so insecure that he can't even be present to say 'good morning' to his own family after a rough week, him who wears his doofus smile so effortlessly any other time of the week. Because it'd matter then, the small things add up, and it's the least that he can do to keep his promise alive. Honestly, that never died - to protect someone isn't just about keeping them breathing, it's also to always be ready to help and support them by any means possible whenever it's needed. That's why he has to live and go back: Cain will need him once he opens his eyes, and Abel isn't going to have a shred of an excuse to his name if he's absent when that time comes. Her eyes would have turned eerily sober too by then, complete with a tiny frown of reproach. That'll be one morning that he's not allowed to skip out on, this is what he must do after following her out. Is that clear, now?]
bloodsugar: (✞ self-worth.)

[personal profile] bloodsugar 2012-07-14 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[his eyes flicker jerkily over the simple words in front of him. there's no avoiding reading it when it's presented like this, but -- he probably wouldn't have tried aversion anyway. that knit at his brow creases further in response. there for him?

it's true he might have selfishly pursued whatever he sought out in this dark place if he believed he wouldn't have made it back, but -- it stood to reason that even if he managed to befall the same 'fate,' that he would return just as his brother did. he would be there when Cain came back; they'd return together, right--? no matter what happens to him, he would be there for his time-stalled twin. it was easy to rationalize his recklessness when that was sure to be the case.

but there is that fear in him... that fear, deep in his gut. that pit of cold ice that worried if there might not BE returning. this was not the same as Mayfield -- what... was left behind of his brother had... remained, in its unnatural state. his 'death' was not...


this train of thought has him feeling sick, and he's quick to shift his attention elsewhere. no... of course-- Ciel. of course he would be there for his brother... it seems that's all he's capable of in this wretched town. if-- ...when... he returns...

Abel will pick up the pieces... even if he never should have been broken apart to begin with. even if he had failed to prevent that terrible thing from happening as he'd promised. Mayfield loves to make him a liar, and yet -- he keeps on promising anyway, whole-heartedly desiring to keep his word and falling short over and over again regardless.

he draws the note down with his hands over hers, head falling in unison. it's the only thing he can do. this is all he's good for...? is this all he will ever truly be able to do for them?

...uselessly hold them when it's over through their pain, until... one day, that pain takes them away from him forever? the human spirit can only take so much before becoming broken in a way he's at a loss to fix...
expiatrice: († yeah well who cares about popularity)

[personal profile] expiatrice 2012-07-14 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[At which point he's going to

receive a soft poke on his forehead. Enough to cause a small flinch maybe, but definitely not enough for anything more. Her expression isn't just mildly reproachful anymore either, it's downright scolding with an open scowl (and... a pout?). Someone's taking her words in the wrong way again, and she lacks the means to clarify. Gosh stop mercilessly beating yourself for one second and look back at her, dummy!! Emotional and mental support here is priceless partially for the very reason because death is meaningless. The latter is a sad truth, but in order to stay whole while continuing to struggle on in such a tenuous environment, conceding and compromising some of one's own values has to be done - even at the cost of belittling the true worth of a life. Not an easy change to make by far, but if one is to stay firm and strong...

That he's got his head lowered and is holding a generally poor posture means she doesn't need to get on tip-toes to reach his eye level, but she will stand up straighter anyway to be in his face better- he does have a full foot over her. ...Geez. It's not the end of the line, and he's misunderstanding or underestimating just how important the act of 'picking up the pieces' can be. It's a hard and draining task, but that's just it: in standing back up and straightening out what remains, that's how people will then be able to move forward once more. Hnng. She can't explain this to him now, but she definitely doesn't want to keep seeing him so dejected and anguished. It blows just as hard to know that she might not be able to do anything about it, but...

He'll follow her out, right? So pull his focus back on the present and what's directly in front of him, if he would please! --Oh, we are totally going to revisit the subject again later, but once this chaos is behind us and everyone rests up to be in better shape. So will he able to snap out of it for even just a little bit, at least long enough for them to leave this place?]
bloodsugar: gift from <user name=ena>; please don't take! (♬ bossed by small women everywhere.)

[personal profile] bloodsugar 2012-07-14 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[a-- ah. he looks mildly bewildered through the gloom as her finger touches his forehead; he's getting used to the gesture by now... his eyes lifting to find hers again perplexedly. --hm, he's... missing something?

she's right again, but that isn't surprising, is it? he doesn't grasp things as he should. he never has. his view of the world and the things in it is both extremely expansive and terribly narrow both at once... he's had a great deal of exposure to it, but in all the wrong ways. he took things in differently than others, and his lifespan has made things... odd, at best. it was partially the experiences he's lived, and partially the hands that guided him along the way... but...


he looks truly lost, and not simply in a dejected way. Abel is confused...

so, it's absolutely true. if she were to leave, then... he'd follow her. for now, she's inherited the mantle of 'keeper.' much as she likes picking up the strays, this time -- well. it's a little too accurate, isn't it? whether she likes it or not, where he goes and what he'll do from here on out until they find their way out of this hellhole is up to her. she's in his hands.

he'll be right behind her.
expiatrice: († my horse loli and i)

[personal profile] expiatrice 2012-07-15 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[She knew Cain's death was synonymous to taking away the first and foremost reason Abel had for carrying on (though if she doubted before, it certainly was clear now), and one needs a drive to motivate them in pushing forward. It's why she had to draft up a cause, though she knew it was going to be difficult from the start. Weak and artificial as it is, he needed some form of reason to not give up. A direction, as vague as it may be, until they leave this forsaken carnival behind and Cain returns.

His eyes are still clouded, but they're also on her now. She couldn't come up with any other recourse, not on such a short notice. So...

Lean on her for now, if he's become unable to walk for himself. Keep moving... for her, whatever that may be worth, if there really is absolutely nothing else.

She quietly breathes out and pulls back, but doesn't break eye contact. The very idea of looking away feels worrisome right now, somehow. Not when she takes a brief second to bend over either, to pick up the revolver that he's previously dropped. (She'll be holding it by the barrel.) After that however, the atmosphere loosens, the dull glow of the barrier disappears, and the Keys behind them are dispelled. She tilts sideways, ready to fall in step at his side this time, and reaches her free hand out to grasp onto his. Eyes soft but still gently urging, she gives the hold a small squeeze as she takes one step forward. It's not much, but any action will have to speak for her support. Mm, the small things can add up...

Ready to go, now? He may be following her, but she won't have him walk behind her. At least like that, he won't get lost again either?]
bloodsugar: (✞ wield the sword with me.)

[personal profile] bloodsugar 2012-07-15 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[being led off like a child, out of the dark... hm. isn't the first time.

he remained still as she dispelled the barrier... retrieved the Peacekeeper and let the Keys dissolve. there's no threat of him running off any longer. but--

his eyes shift downward when her hand slides into his. it truly... is strange, isn't it--? in the end, when he loses these precious and invaluable things... he is surprised by what unexpectedly new, and decidedly precious things come in the darkest hours. the very first taught him purpose, how to be a human. how to love unconditionally, and whole-heartedly. how to trust in others, and...


what... is he going to learn this time? when the smoke clears... there will be a new lesson learned. right--? it might not feel like it now, but... surely...

she takes a step forward, goading him with her -- and he goes. trailing behind is in his nature... but -- walking side by side...

...he can fall into step like this, too. if she's here... if he puts it all in her hands, then-- there's nowhere else to go but 'forward' from here.
expiatrice: dana is a goddess († breathe the light)

[personal profile] expiatrice 2012-07-15 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[She's not expecting to teach him anything. Honestly, it can even be argued that she's got no right to even entertain the notion. She just... got to understand that frail and broken psyche he truly held today, one he always hid so well at any other time, and witnessed just how deeply his own kindness and innocence hurt him most in the end. She already sees the problems, but can she really do anything for him about that? She's been in that position. She has ample experience with loss of purpose and loss of self. She knows all too well how nigh impossible it was to recover the gleam of a cause and obtain the will to continue pushing forward no matter how many more losses one will have to continue experiencing on the road. ...He's stubborn, too. So is she, but...


Trying. Falling. Being hurt. Standing back up. Healing. Learning. Growing. Trying again.

That's what living is about, isn't it? Humans... are resilient. In abandoning himself to hopelessness, he'd be completely overlooking the astounding amount of strength from the heart and spirit that can exist within the very ones he's sworn to protect. If this is something he ignores, then he can definitely learn about it. It won't be easy by far, but that could probably do, as good as any of a starting point.

They walk.

She'll give him his gun back later. May toss him a small hand towel and chide him to wipe his face too, redo his hair while he's at it, that sort of thing. He looks like a mess right now. Times are still hectic, but these small things ought to take no time at all.


...Small miracles, hm?]
bloodsugar: (✞ beaten dogs.)

[personal profile] bloodsugar 2012-07-15 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[mm... 'small miracles,' right...?

for someone who had her ability to speak stolen from her, Ciel has impressively managed to 'talk' regardless. she said what she needed to, all without ever really saying a word. she truly is an amazing person, however much she might contest as much herself. when his head has cleared -- whenever that will be, Abel will surely think as much himself.

setting aside that he... already does. she's only ever able to reinforce his high opinions of her, over and over again.

he's fallen into step easily beside her, his hand gripped in hers; it's a pathetic sight, isn't it? but it is what it is and neither of them can change it. he's let everything trickle away into a particular state where he won't think a thing at all, everything 'out of his hands' so to speak. given up permission to her to decide where they go from here when there's nothing left to do but wait, in his eyes. wait for what happens next.

...and pray it will be Cain's return, instead of losing -her- and Esther and everyone else, as well.