[his eyes flicker jerkily over the simple words in front of him. there's no avoiding reading it when it's presented like this, but -- he probably wouldn't have tried aversion anyway. that knit at his brow creases further in response.
...be there for him?
it's true he might have selfishly pursued whatever he sought out in this dark place if he believed he wouldn't have made it back, but -- it stood to reason that even if he managed to befall the same 'fate,' that he would return just as his brother did. he would be there when Cain came back; they'd return together, right--? no matter what happens to him, he would be there for his time-stalled twin. it was easy to rationalize his recklessness when that was sure to be the case.
but there is that fear in him... that fear, deep in his gut. that pit of cold ice that worried if there might not BE returning. this was not the same as Mayfield -- what... was left behind of his brother had... remained, in its unnatural state. his 'death' was not...
...
this train of thought has him feeling sick, and he's quick to shift his attention elsewhere. no... of course-- Ciel. of course he would be there for his brother... it seems that's all he's capable of in this wretched town. if-- ...when... he returns...
Abel will pick up the pieces... even if he never should have been broken apart to begin with. even if he had failed to prevent that terrible thing from happening as he'd promised. Mayfield loves to make him a liar, and yet -- he keeps on promising anyway, whole-heartedly desiring to keep his word and falling short over and over again regardless.
he draws the note down with his hands over hers, head falling in unison. it's the only thing he can do. this is all he's good for...? is this all he will ever truly be able to do for them?
...uselessly hold them when it's over through their pain, until... one day, that pain takes them away from him forever? the human spirit can only take so much before becoming broken in a way he's at a loss to fix...]
no subject
...be there for him?
it's true he might have selfishly pursued whatever he sought out in this dark place if he believed he wouldn't have made it back, but -- it stood to reason that even if he managed to befall the same 'fate,' that he would return just as his brother did. he would be there when Cain came back; they'd return together, right--? no matter what happens to him, he would be there for his time-stalled twin. it was easy to rationalize his recklessness when that was sure to be the case.
but there is that fear in him... that fear, deep in his gut. that pit of cold ice that worried if there might not BE returning. this was not the same as Mayfield -- what... was left behind of his brother had... remained, in its unnatural state. his 'death' was not...
...
this train of thought has him feeling sick, and he's quick to shift his attention elsewhere. no... of course-- Ciel. of course he would be there for his brother... it seems that's all he's capable of in this wretched town. if-- ...when... he returns...
Abel will pick up the pieces... even if he never should have been broken apart to begin with. even if he had failed to prevent that terrible thing from happening as he'd promised. Mayfield loves to make him a liar, and yet -- he keeps on promising anyway, whole-heartedly desiring to keep his word and falling short over and over again regardless.
he draws the note down with his hands over hers, head falling in unison. it's the only thing he can do. this is all he's good for...? is this all he will ever truly be able to do for them?
...uselessly hold them when it's over through their pain, until... one day, that pain takes them away from him forever? the human spirit can only take so much before becoming broken in a way he's at a loss to fix...]