[She's not facing a monster. Only a former shadow who cowardly wished for the fangs because driving away others against him was easier than confronting problems alongside them, because losing oneself was easier than self-examination. It's a simple concept to understand. Either way, it's not very different from a child throwing a tantrum: getting angry is just the simplest way to avoid responsibility. Even just asking questions like 'why' and 'how', it's refusal to face reality at all.
Living can be... unimaginably difficult, that she's aware also. She's done nothing but 'staying alive' as opposed to 'living' herself for some time, though that's also a thing of the past now. All that matters is that she found the way again, even if she willingly chose to continue following a path that doesn't seem like 'living' at all. Still, she knew better, maybe because as opposed to several of her acquaintances who out-age her many times over, she's spent over three quarters of her own life doing just that: living, a priceless luxury that people tend to not realize until they've lost it all. For as brief and fleeting as these 16 years might seem to her today, it's been everything anyone could've ever wanted, as mundane and unexciting as all the little things were. It came with losses and gains, laughter and tears, successes and mistakes, but at the end of the day, everything worked out okay. That all vanished quickly one day, but these experiences that shaped the basis of who she is can't be tossed away by just some name change. No matter how hard she tries to bury it, that much will always remain. Is it to her advantage? ...That's hard to determine. They do say that the more you possess, the more you have to lose. But...
She can understand, and it's all the more reason she doesn't want to witness any of this befall anyone else. Even if their circumstances are just as unfortunate, if not more, even if it's already happened, because as long as one keeps drawing breath, it will not be too late.
It's not over until the end.
That's why you have to keep going. Because once the end comes, there won't be anything else after that. If there's anything left you still wanted to make up for, anything at all, never stop pushing, never stop searching. It can be very hard by oneself, but...
He's not alone here, is he?
...
She doesn't look away when the firearm drops harmlessly onto the floor. The tension doesn't drop, there's no relief or anything like that either. Just because he's let go of the gun doesn't mean that this is over. After all...
Taking a step forward to close the distance between them while maintaining vigilance and calm, she raises her left hand to gnetly rest it against his chest. To her right, to his left - directly over his beating heart. Only then will her demeanor soften, unrelenting resolve dissipating into concern as she gets a read of his pulse.
no subject
Living can be... unimaginably difficult, that she's aware also. She's done nothing but 'staying alive' as opposed to 'living' herself for some time, though that's also a thing of the past now. All that matters is that she found the way again, even if she willingly chose to continue following a path that doesn't seem like 'living' at all. Still, she knew better, maybe because as opposed to several of her acquaintances who out-age her many times over, she's spent over three quarters of her own life doing just that: living, a priceless luxury that people tend to not realize until they've lost it all. For as brief and fleeting as these 16 years might seem to her today, it's been everything anyone could've ever wanted, as mundane and unexciting as all the little things were. It came with losses and gains, laughter and tears, successes and mistakes, but at the end of the day, everything worked out okay. That all vanished quickly one day, but these experiences that shaped the basis of who she is can't be tossed away by just some name change. No matter how hard she tries to bury it, that much will always remain. Is it to her advantage? ...That's hard to determine. They do say that the more you possess, the more you have to lose. But...
She can understand, and it's all the more reason she doesn't want to witness any of this befall anyone else. Even if their circumstances are just as unfortunate, if not more, even if it's already happened, because as long as one keeps drawing breath, it will not be too late.
It's not over until the end.
That's why you have to keep going. Because once the end comes, there won't be anything else after that. If there's anything left you still wanted to make up for, anything at all, never stop pushing, never stop searching. It can be very hard by oneself, but...
He's not alone here, is he?
...
She doesn't look away when the firearm drops harmlessly onto the floor. The tension doesn't drop, there's no relief or anything like that either. Just because he's let go of the gun doesn't mean that this is over. After all...
Taking a step forward to close the distance between them while maintaining vigilance and calm, she raises her left hand to gnetly rest it against his chest. To her right, to his left - directly over his beating heart. Only then will her demeanor soften, unrelenting resolve dissipating into concern as she gets a read of his pulse.
"Does it ache?"]