[the fact that she is so calm... that she doesn't respond to any of this at all -- it digs at him, deep and hard. he doesn't like this. it isn't how it's supposed to go, how ANY of this is supposed to be. she wasn't supposed to be here...
Cain wasn't supposed to be here.
none of this was ever supposed to happen. but it had.
--so what is he supposed to do...?
the manic edge of desperation grows with that sensation of being lost -- floundering. being cornered, trapped... pinned against a rock and a hard place. she will follow him if he goes down this road. it's halting his feet, barring his way. but he absolutely can't turn back now under any circumstance.
so-- what do you want of him, Ciel--? can't you see this isn't the way it's meant to be? he has to fix it. he HAS to fix it, and if he can't protect anything or anyone -- if all he can do is fail those he loves like history is repeating itself all over again, then--
he can fall back on the one thing he was always good at, instead. he can make it all disappear. all the things that go bump in the night... all the things that will take away his precious people -- he'll...
...he should just...]
...
[there's a clenching of his jaw. hurt her--? no. he'd never so much as touch upon the thought, no matter how frustrating and threatening he finds her presence to be right now. so, he shoves her back instead, turning right around and carrying off in the direction he'd been traveling before he'd acknowledged her at all. his bravado is false and they both know it; he doesn't want to put her in danger. the mere thought has his chest tight after what's already happened in this terrible hellhole.
but he doesn't know what else to do. if he doesn't move forward and burn it away... then there's really no option left but to accept it. and that's one thing he absolutely refuses to do.]
no subject
Cain wasn't supposed to be here.
none of this was ever supposed to happen. but it had.
--so what is he supposed to do...?
the manic edge of desperation grows with that sensation of being lost -- floundering. being cornered, trapped... pinned against a rock and a hard place. she will follow him if he goes down this road. it's halting his feet, barring his way. but he absolutely can't turn back now under any circumstance.
so-- what do you want of him, Ciel--? can't you see this isn't the way it's meant to be? he has to fix it. he HAS to fix it, and if he can't protect anything or anyone -- if all he can do is fail those he loves like history is repeating itself all over again, then--
he can fall back on the one thing he was always good at, instead. he can make it all disappear. all the things that go bump in the night... all the things that will take away his precious people -- he'll...
...he should just...]
...
[there's a clenching of his jaw. hurt her--? no. he'd never so much as touch upon the thought, no matter how frustrating and threatening he finds her presence to be right now. so, he shoves her back instead, turning right around and carrying off in the direction he'd been traveling before he'd acknowledged her at all. his bravado is false and they both know it; he doesn't want to put her in danger. the mere thought has his chest tight after what's already happened in this terrible hellhole.
but he doesn't know what else to do. if he doesn't move forward and burn it away... then there's really no option left but to accept it. and that's one thing he absolutely refuses to do.]